Raising Babies

Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done.  When Alyssa was 3 months old I returned to work at the post office.  When she was 7 months old I quit.  From a very young age I knew I wanted to be a mother.  For me, the typical "What do you want to be when you grow up?" was met with "A Mommy"  time and time again.  Now I am a Mommy to 3 beautiful and amazing children.  These days I'm faced with a whole new set of challenges.

Before Alyssa was born I read a million books on different parenting types.  I just knew how I was going to raise my children.  They would have a set bedtime.  They would be polite and have manners.  I researched and read and joined online communities.  I was prepared.  Then, she was born.  All the books went in the trash.  Every child is unique.  Every child comes with his or her own abilites and needs.  Where is chapter that told me after 18 months of ear piercing screaming for seemingly no reason and waking every.single.night could be solved by one visit to the ENT?  Why didn't somebody tell me that the ox sound on the Leaptop computer would scare the bejesus out of my child?

So, here we are.  I have learned that time out is rarely affective on Alyssa.  To get through to her you must take away something beloved and then she must earn it back.  The prized item goes on top of the tallest bookshelf.  She can still see it, but can't have it.  For now, James is tortured by time out. 

We've got punishments down, but how do we get good behavior.  We have two rules.  Jonny or I say, "What's our number one rule?"  Alyssa always answers, "Be nice."  It's simple, but it can cover so much.  Our children must be nice to each other, to pets, to strangers, to our property, to other people's property.  Hitting is not nice.  Screaming is not nice.  Interrupting someone is not nice.  Leaving the table before everyone is finished is not nice.  Our number two rule is to have fun.  This one is more for Jonny and me to remember, but also good for our kiddos.  Trying to remember to always be nice we sometimes forget that we're supposed to have fun.  And many times the most simple, unplanned activities are the most fun.

Finally, we are guilty of wanting to give our kids everything.  It's just a book.  It's only a little car.  What's the harm in getting them something.  Sure, I'll get you that juice box or chocolate milk when we get to Target.  Guess who expects something every time we walk into Target.  And guess who flips out when you tell them no.  Okay, so a juice box isn't a big deal, but it can lead to a much bigger deal.  Alyssa and James have chore charts.  They earn stickers for certain tasks.  They don't get a sticker every single time (because frankly, I forget to hand them out).  Once they earn enough stickers they can pick a prize.  It could be a trip to Chuck E Cheese, a barbie, a game, a movie.  So far, Alyssa's earned a trip to Chuck E Cheese and Operation.  I wasn't going to start James a chore chart so soon, but he loves to be just like his big sister and he earns stickers too. 

I'll be honest, some days I wish I didn't care so much.  But my whole job is to be a mom.  It's important.  And it's important to me to be a good mom and raise good kids.  Are my kids perfect?  No by a long shot!  Am I a perfect mom?  Not even close.  But we try our best and we work hard.  And I think we're pretty darn good.