I have issues. I always have and I most likely always will. I have low self esteem/self worth, whatever you want to call it. Most of my life was spent trying desperately to look and be cute. I remember my mom dieting and exercising...a lot. I was told ways to do my hair, make up, how to dress, etc. so "boys would like me." Appearance was very very important in order to get a boy to like you. And having a boy like you was also very important. None of this behavior or criticism was malicious. It really was out of kindness. It just kinda messed me up. Well, that plus growing up in the ballerina world of eating disorders and being sexually assaulted in college kinda messed me up. I went to counseling and have been treated for depression and anxiety ever since. I'm a work in progress.
There is a place in my children's baby books for a "Letter from Mom and Dad." I've thought a lot about the perfect letter to my children. What do I want for them? Of course I want them to be healthy. I want them to be successful. But how one measures success may not be the same way I do. Is being successful having a high paying job? I get paid in hugs and kisses and I consider myself very successful. I've decided the thing I want most for my children is the thing I've struggled with the most. Be happy. Make yourself happy. Never depend on others for your own happiness.
There is a song out right now by Bruno Mars called "Just The Way You Are." It reminds me of Alyssa. Well, not the 'sexy' part, but the rest of it does. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk
There is nothing I would change about her.
From her misshaped head
To the scar on her cheek from stitches
To the way she eats her food
To the way she dabbles in sidewalk chalk
To her keen fashion sense.
She is perfect. She is amazing. Just the way she is.
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